8,285
8.3K
Nov 22, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 8,285
favorite 0
quote 2
got to ask us first. and finally, you guys, nasa announced that the mars rover "curiosity" has made a major discovery, but they won't tell anyone what it is until they run more tests. scientists are hoping the rover found signs of life. while america just hoped they found some twinkies. we have a great show tonight. give it up for roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun, fun show tonight. we love it when she stops by. oh, we love this person so much. from nbc's "parks and recreation" -- [ cheers ] -- amy poehler is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: one of my favorite people in the world. >> jimmy: the greatest. >> steve: she's the greatest. >> jimmy: plus, we couldn't be more excited about this, she's going to talk, she's going to perform, the one and only, alicia keys is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: is it thanksgiving today? >> jimmy: yes. all in one show, tonight. hey, guys, it's almost the hey, guys, it's almost the holidays
got to ask us first. and finally, you guys, nasa announced that the mars rover "curiosity" has made a major discovery, but they won't tell anyone what it is until they run more tests. scientists are hoping the rover found signs of life. while america just hoped they found some twinkies. we have a great show tonight. give it up for roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun, fun show tonight. we love it when she stops by. oh, we love...
9,679
9.7K
Nov 23, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 9,679
favorite 0
quote 4
james, i'm sorry i used that urn, by the way. i thought it was -- i thought it was -- oh my goodness. >> steve: it's like a greek urn. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: what's a greek urn? >> jimmy: i don't know what that means. >> steve: about $30 an hour. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] come on, that old chestnut. >> jimmy: that was good. >> steve: yeah, come on. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, val chmerkovskiy, for performing in a speedo on "dancing with the stars" and giving new meaning to the term ballroom dance. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hello, not much room. there's not another room at the inn. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the changing leaves in autumn, for being a beautiful way to basically watch trees go through puberty. [ laughter ] [ voice cracking ] >> jimmy: "i had a great -- i had a great time being a tree." ♪ thank you, mitt romney, for being photographed this week pumping your own gas, attending the "twilight' movie," and then going to disneyland, or as you would call that, going on a bender. [ laughter ] [ imitating romney ]
james, i'm sorry i used that urn, by the way. i thought it was -- i thought it was -- oh my goodness. >> steve: it's like a greek urn. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: what's a greek urn? >> jimmy: i don't know what that means. >> steve: about $30 an hour. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] come on, that old chestnut. >> jimmy: that was good. >> steve: yeah, come on. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, val chmerkovskiy, for performing in a speedo on "dancing with the...
393
393
Nov 29, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 393
favorite 0
quote 0
and these blocks can either help us or hurt us. somehow, i suspect he's gonna be helping you and hurting me. >> jimmy: what? >> but we'll see. >> jimmy: thank you, bill. [ laughter ] all right. >> so he's going to get things started here. >> jimmy: okay, here we go. >> so we've got these little yoshis here. >> jimmy: oh, cute. >> right, you want to grab one of those. >> jimmy: all right. >> no, you can't grab mine. grab your own. >> jimmy: all right, sorry. [ light laughter ] >> all right? >> jimmy: yeah. nervous. he's walking off. come on. all right, i got him. i got him. >> now, shake the remote. >> jimmy: what? yes! that's what i'm talking about, reggie. nintendo is the coolest thing in the whole wide world. all right, now what do i do here? >> so keep shaking it. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. shake, shake, shake! >> right? keep shaking it. and bill's going to build some blocks. >> jimmy: where -- i've flown off the screen. >> you've flown off the screen. we're just waiting for you to make sure that -- >> jimmy: how fun is this? are you k
and these blocks can either help us or hurt us. somehow, i suspect he's gonna be helping you and hurting me. >> jimmy: what? >> but we'll see. >> jimmy: thank you, bill. [ laughter ] all right. >> so he's going to get things started here. >> jimmy: okay, here we go. >> so we've got these little yoshis here. >> jimmy: oh, cute. >> right, you want to grab one of those. >> jimmy: all right. >> no, you can't grab mine. grab your own....
324
324
Nov 27, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 324
favorite 0
quote 0
connie britton joins us next, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] it's that time of year again. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. [ male announcer ] now all you need is a magic carriage. citi price rewind. buy now. save later. that's right. so it's like i won. sure. oh my gosh i won!!! i won!!! [ male announcer ] get a $100 walmart gift card when you buy any android or windows 8 smartphone. through december 1st. from america's gift headquarters. walmart. since then, there's been one wedding, 2 kids, and 43 bottles of olay total effects. so in spite of 185 tantrums 378 pre-dawn starts and a lot of birthdays, caroline still looks amazing. you can challenge what's possible thank
connie britton joins us next, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] it's that time of year again. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. [ male...
118
118
Nov 13, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 118
favorite 0
quote 0
charlie cox joins us next. there he is in the bud light platinum suite. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [music] "dance of the sugar plum fairies" ♪ ♪ syou know, i've helped alot ofof people save a lot of money. but today...( sfx: loud noise of metal object hitting the ground) things have been a little strange. (sfx: sound of piano smashing) roadrunner: meep meep. meep meep? (sfx: loud thud sound) awhat strange place. geico®. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. ford has the freshest lineup in america. so, we're at the mall... celebrating. have you seen the new focus? i walked in and it was just like... wow! seriously fun to drive... 40 miles a gallon on the highway. 40 miles a gallon? sync technology, ten thousand separate commands, so you can boss it around, sasha, to your hearts content. so you can boss it around, sasha, to your hearts content. nice. are these made here? right here in the store. yeah, a small group of elves come in. get a focus with up to $2500 cash back,
charlie cox joins us next. there he is in the bud light platinum suite. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [music] "dance of the sugar plum fairies" ♪ ♪ syou know, i've helped alot ofof people save a lot of money. but today...( sfx: loud noise of metal object hitting the ground) things have been a little strange. (sfx: sound of piano smashing) roadrunner: meep meep. meep meep? (sfx: loud thud sound) awhat strange place. geico®. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on...
149
149
Nov 2, 2012
11/12
by
WBAL
tv
eye 149
favorite 0
quote 0
rza joins us next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] caroline penry began using olay total effects in 2001. and one wedding, 2 kids, 43 bottles of olay total effects many birthdays later, still looks amazing. thanks to the trusted performance of olay. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i just love that moscato. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail, the go-to. for the right wine. go out tonight - be social! then stay in tomorrow. make a date with your flat screen. olive garden's new dinner today, dinner tomorrow. two dinners for two nights, just $12.95. choose one of five entrees tonight, like new mezzaluna ravioli. served with unlimited soup or salad and breadsticks. then choose a second entrÉe to take home for tomorrow all for just $12.95. this has "movie night" written all over it. new dinner today, dinner tomorrow go before it's gone! go olive garden. hahahaha! ho
rza joins us next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] caroline penry began using olay total effects in 2001. and one wedding, 2 kids, 43 bottles of olay total effects many birthdays later, still looks amazing. thanks to the trusted performance of olay. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i just love that moscato. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female...
672
672
Nov 24, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 672
favorite 0
quote 0
. >> jimmy: we always have fun stuff to show us. >> i do. that's a fact. >> jimmy: and it's a fact. >> it's a proven fact. >> jimmy: let's start off -- >> so microsoft. >> jimmy: yeah, i've heard of them. >> new product. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they got colorful products. >> jimmy: bill gate's out of microsoft. >> bill gate's been out for about ten years. >> jimmy: 10 years. >> so they've got new windows phone. >> jimmy: i have to send him a card. i got to send him a congratulations card. [ light laughter ] >> new windows phone. you really should reach out. just let him know that you know. new windows phone stuff which is cool. very colorful. >> jimmy: windows phone. >> this is a windows phone. made by nokia. the cool thing about this? you can take a picture in a dark room. and it's the lights are on. you can take really low light photos. >> jimmy: that's weird. >> which is great to see. >> jimmy: so, you're hanging out with prince harry you're in a lot of trouble. you have to take that phone with you. [ laughter ] >> no, it's very good for all s
. >> jimmy: we always have fun stuff to show us. >> i do. that's a fact. >> jimmy: and it's a fact. >> it's a proven fact. >> jimmy: let's start off -- >> so microsoft. >> jimmy: yeah, i've heard of them. >> new product. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they got colorful products. >> jimmy: bill gate's out of microsoft. >> bill gate's been out for about ten years. >> jimmy: 10 years. >> so they've got new windows phone....
698
698
Nov 21, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 698
favorite 0
quote 0
i'm probably never going to use that. and anyway, she actually had person spray from the security guard that was on tour with me a year ago, so it wasn't normal pepper spray. it was, like, for the war. [ laughter ] and she came into my bathroom one morning, and i was blow drying my hair getting ready for school. and she's like, "you're going on a field trip. you're going to the lacma." i don't know if that's scary, but -- she was like, "here, i want to give you this pepper spray, and i'm going to take the protective seal off because you don't want to want to be fumbling with that if something happens." so, she took the protective seal off, and she accidentally sprayed me with pepper spray. [ light laughter ] so, i was down on the floor, like, crawling through my house. >> jimmy: no. >> trying to get to the front door and outside where i could breathe and like, i couldn't see for, like, 10 minutes. and my mom was crying. >> jimmy: that's perfect. perfect. thanks, mom. appreciate it. thank you so much. you both are passed o
i'm probably never going to use that. and anyway, she actually had person spray from the security guard that was on tour with me a year ago, so it wasn't normal pepper spray. it was, like, for the war. [ laughter ] and she came into my bathroom one morning, and i was blow drying my hair getting ready for school. and she's like, "you're going on a field trip. you're going to the lacma." i don't know if that's scary, but -- she was like, "here, i want to give you this pepper spray,...
563
563
Nov 16, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 563
favorite 0
quote 0
jeff bezos joins us next. come on back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "ever ask somebody to lend you a foot?" "who thinks about stuff like that?" "vince mahe grew up on two continents... and noticed that wherever you go, people have their hands full, but their feet free." "the result? a liftgate you operate with your foot." "code name?" "open sesame" "the all new twenty thirteen ford escape. it's what happens when you go further." because it helps you keep doing what you love. no wonder it's america's #1 selling pain reliever. you took action, you took advil®. and we thank you. you took action, you took advil®. you just gonna eat all that cmon, hurry up. eat y'all food so you can go to school. let me have some. that's good. uh huh. bronie, what you doing over there? nothing. let me get that. (laughter) exclusively at at&t. buy any samsung galaxy smartphone and save up to $200 off an eligible samsung tablet. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you
jeff bezos joins us next. come on back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "ever ask somebody to lend you a foot?" "who thinks about stuff like that?" "vince mahe grew up on two continents... and noticed that wherever you go, people have their hands full, but their feet free." "the result? a liftgate you operate with your foot." "code name?" "open sesame" "the all new twenty thirteen ford escape. it's what happens when you go...
1,234
1.2K
Nov 6, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 1,234
favorite 0
quote 0
first, you can only break the pinatas using karate kicks. you cannot use your hands. you cannot use your body. in addition, the pinatas must fully break in order to count. also keep in mind, in the event of a tie, our great audience will decide the winner based on kicking awesomeness, so it's very important that your kicks are awesome. any questions before we begin? >> ready to go. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. contestant number one, you're up. go take your place, and put on your blindfold. let's get the fiesta ring spinning! [ cheers and applause ] remember to stay on the mat at all times. 20 seconds on the clock please. ready, set, kick! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ gong ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! hey! good job. all right, stop kicking. thank you. come on over, buddy. that was great. that was amazing. >> woo! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: never seen karate kicks like that before. a lot of this. [ laughter ] very interesting. let's take a look at some of your kicks in slow motion. see how -- look at this. yep, that one just -- that one was attacking you in a w
first, you can only break the pinatas using karate kicks. you cannot use your hands. you cannot use your body. in addition, the pinatas must fully break in order to count. also keep in mind, in the event of a tie, our great audience will decide the winner based on kicking awesomeness, so it's very important that your kicks are awesome. any questions before we begin? >> ready to go. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. contestant number one, you're up. go take your place, and put on your...
103
103
Nov 1, 2012
11/12
by
WBAL
tv
eye 103
favorite 0
quote 0
bobby cannavale joins us next. come on back everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ like the party was catered we got fellas to my left honey's on my right ♪ ♪ we bring them both together we gonna have a good night ♪ >> jimmy: oh, come on! ♪ introducing the new 13-inch macbook pro, ♪ with the stunning retina display. ♪ for the pro in all of us. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild. [ female announcer ] i just love that moscato. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail, the go-to. gives you a 50% annual bonus. and everyone, but her... likes 50% more cash. but, i have an idea. do you want a princess dress? yes how about some cupcakes? yes lollipop? yes! do you want an etch a sketch? yes! do you want 50% m
bobby cannavale joins us next. come on back everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ like the party was catered we got fellas to my left honey's on my right ♪ ♪ we bring them both together we gonna have a good night ♪ >> jimmy: oh, come on! ♪ introducing the new 13-inch macbook pro, ♪ with the stunning retina display. ♪ for the pro in all of us. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female...
230
230
Nov 10, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 230
favorite 0
quote 0
you got to use it." i said, "tom, please don't make me use the pen." two days later, knock at the door. i open it up. his assistant hands me another wrapped gift, and said, "tom wants you to use the other pen." >> jimmy: you're kidding me. that's -- >> so, it was -- by the way, that's not tom being a dick or, you know, being a showoff. that's his way of saying, "i get it. put this one on the mantel. write with the other one." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you gotta love this. read this book, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] kevin pollak, "how i slept my way to the middle: secrets and stories from stage, screen and interwebs" in stores right now. the wallflowers perform next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: coming up next week, chelsea handler, sally field, chris tucker, katie holmes and helen mirren. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests recently released their first album in seven years, "glad all over." saturday night, they're playing a hurricane sandy benefit at the capitol theatre in port chester, new york, with all proceeds benefit
you got to use it." i said, "tom, please don't make me use the pen." two days later, knock at the door. i open it up. his assistant hands me another wrapped gift, and said, "tom wants you to use the other pen." >> jimmy: you're kidding me. that's -- >> so, it was -- by the way, that's not tom being a dick or, you know, being a showoff. that's his way of saying, "i get it. put this one on the mantel. write with the other one." [ laughter ] >>...
265
265
Nov 3, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 265
favorite 0
quote 0
for all of us. vote yes on thirty-eight. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our next guest from his years on "saturday night live" as well as his acclaimed cable and broadway specials. he's currently performing as part of jerry seinfeld's five-borough stand-up tour. he has his next show thursday, november 8th at the walt whitman theatre at brooklyn college. please welcome back to our show a good man. here's colin quinn! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ take me by the tongue and i'll know you kiss me till you're drunk and i'll show you ♪ ♪ got the moves like jagger got the moves ♪ >> yeah, great song. >> jimmy: oh, my god. that's your theme song. >> that's correct. >> jimmy: you got "moves like jagger." that's your song. >> thanks, fellas. yeah. >> jimmy: colin quinn, it's so -- it's so good to see you, my friend. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: it's really good to see you. how did everything work out with the hurricane? everything okay? >> fine. i stayed with this chick i used to live with.
for all of us. vote yes on thirty-eight. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our next guest from his years on "saturday night live" as well as his acclaimed cable and broadway specials. he's currently performing as part of jerry seinfeld's five-borough stand-up tour. he has his next show thursday, november 8th at the walt whitman theatre at brooklyn college. please welcome back to our show a good man. here's colin quinn! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ take me by the...
107
107
tv
eye 107
favorite 0
quote 0
colin quinn joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey sis, it's so great to see you. you, too! oh, cloudy glasses. you didn't have to come over! actually, honey, i think i did... oh? you did? whoa, ladies, easy. hi. cascade kitchen counselor. we can help avoid this with cascade complete pacs. over time, the other premium pac can leave cloudy, hard water deposits, but cascade complete pacs help leave glasses sparkling. shiny! too bad it doesn't work on windows. okay, i'm outta here. more dishwasher brands in north america recommend cascade. in north america bye! bye girls, love you. daddy, we made you a video for your trip! yeah, watch it on the airplane! ok here you go. aw, thanks girls. yeah hey. i also made you a video. aw, that's so sweet. you probably shouldn't watch it on the plane. say bye to daddy! bye girls! bye! vo: share videos instantly on the samsung galaxy s3. amber, brown and black. exclusively on verizon. ♪ nespresso. where there's a coffee to match my every mood. ♪ where j
colin quinn joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey sis, it's so great to see you. you, too! oh, cloudy glasses. you didn't have to come over! actually, honey, i think i did... oh? you did? whoa, ladies, easy. hi. cascade kitchen counselor. we can help avoid this with cascade complete pacs. over time, the other premium pac can leave cloudy, hard water deposits, but cascade complete pacs help leave glasses sparkling. shiny! too bad it doesn't work on windows. okay, i'm outta...
713
713
Nov 20, 2012
11/12
by
KNTV
tv
eye 713
favorite 0
quote 0
they are always useful. this is "how to rip off a drug dealer" by rex feral. [ laughter ] this is a real book. about how to rip off a drug dealer. for real. but, here's the best part, the dedication, look at this. the dedication says, "to the men of courage who dare to take a chance. to tara lee, timothy ryan, and richard, and all those outlaws out there i dare not mention by name." what about tara lee and timothy ryan? [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: you just mentioned their names! >> steve: the escobar family just got a hold of those dudes. >> jimmy: "how to rip off a drug dealer." >> steve: do you know what's a good way to make money? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: rip off a drug dealer. yeah. they're not well -- >> jimmy: oh, god. well, this one -- we're down to our last book here. >> steve: aw. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: this is from our friends across the pond. england, to be exact. >> audience: hey! >> jimmy: hey, very good. >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: you might have read this. "british tits" by
they are always useful. this is "how to rip off a drug dealer" by rex feral. [ laughter ] this is a real book. about how to rip off a drug dealer. for real. but, here's the best part, the dedication, look at this. the dedication says, "to the men of courage who dare to take a chance. to tara lee, timothy ryan, and richard, and all those outlaws out there i dare not mention by name." what about tara lee and timothy ryan? [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: you...